A Day of Fun
by merurikku
Summary: Read if you dare. If you've read my Gooferama, it's basically worse... if you've read Love is Just a Game, I wouldn't recommend this one... Anyway, involves ODD pairings: Barbossa Elizabeth, BarbossaJack the monkey, Jack the monkeyParrot. Have fun! This s
1. Chap 1

BY RIKKU!! (of course x.x)  
  
A/N: Ok, this story is INCREDIBLY weird, but this time it's honestly not my fault. This story is going to be more along the lines of Gooferama than my Harry Potter or Cowboy Bebop stories, so don't read it if you're only used to my Harry Potter or Cowboy Bebop-y style of writing.. My comrades requested these pairings, and so I complied. So blame them, if anyone, for the nastiness that will follow..... actually only blame them for the concepts... I came up with the content ;- )...now read on if you dare. OH! AND just for everyone's information, this story is NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Those who thought Gooferama was a serious story need to not. Anyway, read on and enjoy... flames are welcome because they are funny and I enjoy reading them, but try to lay off the profanity because my poor, er... "virgin" ears cannot handle it.  
  
P.S. Halfway through writing this story, I realized that these were actual people unlike in Gooferama, where it was a dog and a duck. This posed some sort of a problem because I haven't written detailed human relation stories for a long time since I became a changed person. However, sux for me. It's as good as it's going to get for now...  
K I'll shuttup now  
  
Dedicated to: KELSEY (PrincessSparrow)  
  
CHAPTER 1: Barbossa and Elizabeth  
  
Barbossa looked lovingly up at Elizabeth. "Oh, dearest Elizabeth, come to me my sweet!" he cried, viciousness in his tone. She glanced over at him and said, "Oh no, my comrade. You do not deserve my love and affection. My heart belongs to Will Turner."  
  
Barbossa was offended and upset. Not only had he never been denied a woman's affection before... well that many times anyway... but he really did not want Elizabeth to love someone else. He wanted her... even if he could not FEEL a woman's touch, it made him happy to know that one was there.  
  
His fingers twitched with longing, he wanted to feel her warm skin. "I see you twitching over there, Barbossa," Elizabeth sighed, exasperated. "If you are dying with longing, then I suppose we can make some sort of... agreement," she went on, a plan forming in her mind. "Yes, dear, what is it?" Barbossa said, a little too quickly. "If you let me off of this stupid boat and take me back to my home, then I'll sleep with you," she replied, in an offhand sort of way.  
  
Barbossa pondered for a bit before finally replying, "Alright, you've twisted my arm." With this, he grabbed her and led her toward his room.  
  
When they arrived, Barbossa flung Elizabeth down on the bed and jumped on top of her. "Wow, slow down hunk of man that you are," Elizabeth said, laughing. Barbossa, however, did not slow down. Instead, he ripped off his clothes, and then hers... the only problem was that he forgot to take off his boxers. He then viciously tried to insert himself into Elizabeth, but to no avail. "You've forgotten to remove your trousers," Elizabeth said, now in tears of laughter. Barbossa ripped them off, cursing for making such a fool of himself.  
  
He then inserted himself into her and then pulled out quickly. "That was fun," he said, rubbing his beard against her nose. "Er, ya ok," she replied, sticking her hair over his penile region.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: HAHA hope you enjoyed, comrades of mine. Dunno what part of the movie this took place, so don't ask. Read on if you dare, but if you hated this, then why torture yourself further? It gets worse.... the pairings anyway... ANYWAY, sorry if this didn't make sense... it doesn't to me either. Thank you for your time. ^__^  
  
Oh what the people who don't know me must be thinking... 


	2. Chap 2

A/N: I don't really know what to say... just.... well... don't read this if you're going to be too disturbed. Actually do.. it'll be funny.  
  
DEDICATED TO: PAIGE (Page')  
  
CHAPTER 2: Barbossa and Monkey  
  
After having his bit of fun with Elizabeth, Barbossa decided that he wanted more. He went around to his crew mates, but none of them were in the mood to do anything with him. He sulked around the ship for awhile, before he saw his old pal, Jack the monkey.  
  
"Aye, Jack, I remember you likin' a bit of touchy once in awhile, eh?" he asked his monkey, going up to him and stroking his head. Barbossa looked around to make sure nobody was around, grabbed Jack, and took him to his room. Jack was very excited, because according to an experiment, monkeys would choose to give themselves sexual pleasure quite often (haha sucks for you that i brought that up paige). Jack immediately stripped off his own pirate outfit and lay ready on the bed for Barbossa. Barbossa, as well, threw off his clothing and joined Jack on the bed.  
  
Barbossa, knowing that Jack was a very sensitive monkey, decided to do a little warm-up at first. He kissed Jack in every sexual place his lips could reach, though he got a couple of hairs and fleas in his mouth along the way. He then parted the monkey's lips with his tongue and started to kiss Jack. The monkey enjoyed this a lot, and began to get even more excited for what was to come.  
  
Barbossa decided that Jack was ready for the big time. He turned the monkey onto his stomach and entered him from behind. Jack let out a loud shriek of pleasure, and Barbossa pulled out, already tired of the way the monkey felt. "Thankee, Jack," he said to the monkey, before leaving the room to go find someone else.  
  
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A/N: Actually, I think that's the most disturbing thing I've ever written or read in my entire life. And yes, that includes the Lion King story that that dude wrote, Koeb. God... I can't believe my comrades are forcing me to do things like this. Ew I'm upset...actually it's kinda funny though. Ew, no this is worse than Gooferama. Ew! I think I'm gonna have to delete this from my computer. Well anyway, one more chapter. 


	3. Chap 3

A/N: Read on if you wish... this is the last chappie.. enjoy viciously.  
  
CHAPTER 3: Monkey and Parrot  
  
At this moment in time, the parrot from Jack Sparrow's crew flew onto the Black Pearl, for he was supposed to be spying. He saw nobody nearby, and so he went up to the closest window and perched on the sill. Inside was Jack the monkey, still lying on his stomach, a bit worn out from the second chapter. The parrot saw this as an opportunity and decided to take it. He flew around to the door and entered the room.  
  
As quietly as possible, he flew over to the bed and perched next to Jack. "Monkey, Monkey," he said, meaning to wake the monkey from his stupor. Jack lifted his head slightly, and smiled briefly. "Do you want me?" the parrot asked him. Jack only nodded his head, but stayed on his stomach.  
  
The parrot flew up and hovered over the monkey's arse. He then stuck his tail feathers in (there with the tail feathers again!) and moved them around a bit. The monkey moaned with pleasure and wiggled his tail into the parrots beak. Parrot nibbled on it until all of the fur was bitten off. "OOO monkey fur, monkey fur," he chanted, pulling out from Jack and flipping him over on his back. They then proceded to kiss, until Parrot got tired and flew back to Jack Sparrow's ship, completely forgetting to spy.  
  
THE END!!!  
  
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A/N: K, don't think I'll ever look at Pirates the same way again. Hey, and don't get too mad at me. First of all, I warned you SEVERAL times. Second of all they put me up to it! *points in direction of coms (comrades)*  
  
Sorry coms, btw, that it's so short. You all know the schedule that I, and the rest of you, are being forced to live under and I had hardly any time to write this...  
  
Reviews/ flames are welcome but TRY to remember in the flames that #1: I was only joking #2: I can't say enough that I WARNED YOU!!! MWAHAHAHA.  
  
Now why don't you go read one of my nice non-dirty stories, which are just as exciting ^^. You might prefer them... though you actually may not if you've gotten this far in THIS story. Jeez.... you're one brave soul, friend.  
  
DOUBLE THE END 


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